Boxes
by thekatthatbarks
Summary: Sakura comes home and Shikamaru's packed up her things.


Sakura came home and found Shikamaru in the kitchen. His back was to her as he was making tea and she was about to say something when she noticed something was off. She glanced around the kitchen realizing random things were missing. She set her pack on the table. "Shika? What happened to our stuff? Where's the mixer?"

He didn't turn around like she expected and just told her quietly, "I packed up your stuff for you."

Sakura felt her blood run cold and her heart stop. "W-What?"

"I thought it would make things…easier." He sighed, stubbornly not turning around to face her.

Sakura felt like something was stuck in her throat as she stared at his broad back. "Are you…breaking up with me?" She was so confused and hurt. _Where was this coming from?_

He looked at her then and scoffed. "Me break up with _you_? Come on, Sakura, you were going to leave me soon, anyway." He turned back to the tea he'd just poured and grabbed the mug before walking away from her.

Sakura followed him, feeling her heart break as she noticed little things were missing from the halls. Then, when she got to the living room she felt tears well up in her eyes at the sight of boxes stacked neatly by the wall. Shikamaru didn't look at her as he sat on the couch, his jaw locked and his eyes hard.

"Why? I don't understand. W-Why would you think that?" Sakura asked him desperately, her feet planted to the floor just feet away from him. She hadn't seen him like this before. He'd never looked at _her_ like that, with his jaw set and emotionless eyes. For the first time, she couldn't make her feet move to go to him, scared of what was happening. Though, a part of her wanted to fall to her knees in front of him and beg him to forgive her for whatever it was.

He sighed and put his tea on the coffee table in front of him. He looked at the steaming mug instead of at her. "You're never home, Sakura. You go on mission after mission. When you _are_ in the village, you spend all your time at the hospital." Then, he muttered, " _If that's even where you are_."

Sakura felt a tick of anger at that and felt her voice shake from it as she spoke, "You think I'm _cheating_ on you!? What the hell, Shikamaru? You know me better than that!" She took a few steps towards him and he looked up at her.

He waved his hands in front of himself and she had never seen him look so frustrated. "What am I supposed to think, Sakura? Even if you aren't, you still aren't _here_ with _me_!"

Now they were fighting and a voice in the back of her heard cried begging her to get control of the situation. But in the heat of the moment, Sakura didn't think before she spoke. Her emotions were still a very big part of her and she let them lead her. She was just so _hurt_ , she didn't even realize Shikamaru was saying this because he was too.

" _Trust_ me! That's what you _think_ , Shikamaru!" Sakura yelled back, her body feeling like it was shaking.

He stood up, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He didn't seem as angry when he replied, more like he was trying to find his words. "I trust _you_ , Sakura, I do. I don't really think – but I – It's just – I-I don't," he sighed and closed his eyes. "I guess, I can't trust that…you love me anymore."

Sakura deflated at that, a pain stabbing her in her chest. The room felt so cold and tense. "Shikamaru…"

"You don't act like it." He opened his eyes and looked at her pained. He was struggling telling her this, she could tell. Shikamaru didn't like showing any insecurities he felt and he wasn't one for confrontation. He waved a hand helplessly at her. "It's like you don't _want_ to be here, like you're avoiding me. You work yourself so hard, you pass out as soon as you come home. I just – I don't know if you feel bad or something, but I – " He looked over at the boxes and suddenly his voice was very quiet. "If you want to leave, you can. You don't have to stay for my sake." Then, he turned and walked away from her.

Her eyes followed him as she felt tears run down her face. Guilt felt like cement in her stomach and Shikamaru's expression flashed through her mind. She chocked back a sob as memories flooded through her and she realized how often she _hadn't_ been home. _What it must've looked like to him…_

A part of her felt like she _should_ leave if all she was doing was hurting Shikamaru. She'd been selfish and hadn't even mentioned what was going on to him. He deserved better than her. But like she said, she was selfish and she loved him. She wasn't just going to walk away. She couldn't just _give him up_.

She didn't know how long she had stood there, but when she came to her senses, she ran after him to the bedroom. He didn't look up at her from where he sat at the edge of the bed staring out the window. She fell to her knees in front of him like she had wanted to do earlier. She felt overcome with panic and she didn't know if she should reach out for him. But she did. She grabbed at his hands, trying to pull them away from his face.

"Shikamaru, _look_ at me," she begged, her voice shaking. When he didn't budge, she cried feeling more scared than she ever had on the battlefield. "Please. Shika. _Please look at me_."

He finally did and his expression was so tired. When he didn't say anything, she took his hands in hers with almost trembling fingers. "I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't – forgive me, _please_. I love you. I do, Shikamaru. I love you _so much_. I would _never_ leave you. I feel like I-I'm being torn apart just from hearing you _think_ I want to. Please, _believe_ me. I never meant to hurt you, Shikamaru. I love you. I will _always love you._ " A sob escaped her and she had never felt so horrible before. _He didn't deserve this._ She felt pathetic knowing that if he dropped her hands and walked away, she wasn't sure if she'd be able to get herself off the floor.

He sighed and Sakura felt him squeezing her hands instead of letting go. Sakura cried in relief and her head fell to lean against his leg. One of his hands moved to hold her face and turned her head up towards him. His brows furrowed as he looked at her and she wondered if she looked like a mess to him. He told her softly, "Come here."

She didn't hesitate and she threw herself at him. He caught her and laid back on the bed with her on top of him. She cried into his neck and he held on to her tightly. "I don't want to leave you, Shika."

His grip on her tightened and he let out a shaky breath. "Okay, Sakura-chan. I'm sorry. I-I overreacted." He moved the hair out of her face and kissed her forehead. "I just don't know what's going on. I've been worried out of my mind about you, but Ino and Naruto said you seemed normal and happy. So, I-I just thought it must be me then."

Sakura tried to calm her breathing as he combed his fingers through her hair soothingly. She blurted out to him, "Tsunade's leaving."

Shikamaru stilled against her and Sakura went on in a rush, "No one else knows yet and she's not letting me make a big deal about it. So, I've been trying to spend time with her at the hospital. And Shizune is going to travel with her, too, so I started tagging along to her missions with her. I just – I'm going to miss them and was trying to get in as much time as I could. I didn't think – I just didn't _think_. I didn't realize I was gone that much. I didn't think you'd notice since you're so busy as Naruto's advisor. I-I'm sorry. I'm so self-centered. You deserve so much more than me."

"Don't say that," Shikamaru argued with her and then swallowed thickly. "I was being insecure and just acted out to protect myself because I was scared. _You're_ the one who deserves better, not someone who questions your feelings. You still should've told me, though."

"I know," Sakura said softly and then shook her head against him. "Don't you say that either. It's not your fault. I just have to work better at it, making sure you know I love you. I'm so sorry." She felt tears filling in her eyes again and her chest tightened. "I can't believe I made you think I didn't."

Shikamaru moved her to where their faces were almost touching. He stared into her red eyes with ones of his own, his hand cupping her cheek. "I'm just more insecure than I thought, Sakura. It's not your fault. I should've just asked you. I'm sorry."

She shook her head again. _This was her fault._ But didn't say anything and just leaned into kiss him. It was desperate and hard. They'd almost lost each other and there was this need for reassurance in how their mouths slanted against each other. Their grips were tight on each other and they only broke apart when they needed to breathe.

Shikamaru's voice was quiet as he looked at her and he tried to give her a small smile. "I love you."

She kissed him again and then buried her face in his neck, wrapping herself around him. "I love you. More than you'll ever know, but I'll work hard every day to try and show you just how much."

He kissed her hair and she suddenly felt so tired. From her mission and the stress of the past hour. But she made sure to tell him, "You're unpacking all of my things."

He chuckled and promised thickly, "They'll be back where they go before the morning comes."

She sighed and let her eyes close, knowing he'd never break a promise to her. Her stuff would be back in place and so would she in this home of theirs.


End file.
